I know it has been awhile and I AM SORRY.  But I have ben goin through alot. So when you read this you will see. iI have more to day but I will say that later.

  Around the summer of last year, I was told that I had an ovarian cyst. This cyst was causing me to bleed much heavier than normal, and for those who have known me since the begining of me starting to have my monthlies, they know that I would bleed real heavier. Like I was bleeding out the hoover dam or something. lol. But anyhoots, they put me on birth control to control the bleeding, which it has. I thank Jesus for that. Well, I go to the doctors this past saturday because I started bleeding and I wasnt suppose to be. At least not for naother week anyway. So we go, they check me up and they say it could just be from my body still reacting to the birth control. So I am like okay. But then a couple of hours later they call me back in and had a little chit chat with me, they told me that they found another cyst on my ovary and the one that was there has grown. Then to top that off, they have found a fibrod tumor in each of my breast.

Now, know that cancer rums in my family, I am concerned. Especially, from what has happened before, (if you want to know send me a messgae). But the doctors are saying now, that if they are cancerous, there is a possibility that I will loose both of my breast, they are already decideing to take out the ovary. Which isnt so bad, but for me to have children I will have to be on total bed rest. Then, going through kemo and radiation is not fun at all.

But I say all this to say, I am listening to "NO OTHER CHOICE" by Tye Tribbett. Off his new CD, which is hot by the way. But through all of this, as much as I want to throw in the tile and give up, I really have no other choice but to trust Him. I have no other choice but to belive that He will bring me out of this. I have no other choice. Now, I am not saying that I am not scared, because Lord knows how scared I am now about this. But in his word it says, For God has not given us the spirit of fear but of a sound mind........ So Like I siad I have no other choice but to Trust Him. And I trust him. I have to trust Him in all things. Even the blog that posted the last time. I have to trust Him for that as well.

 I am saying all of this to say, we know that I we all have witness some tramatic things these pass year, we have lost people to illnesses and to murder. All I saying, is please do not take life for granted. Remember that you have NO OTHER CHOICE BUT TO TRUST GOD!!!!!!!!!!

Currently Listening Victory LIVE! By Tye Tribbett, G.A. No other choice see related

MY B-DAY IS MONDAY!!!!!

"Any woman who choose to behave like a full human being should be warned that the armies of the status quo will treat her as something of a dirty joke. That's their natural and first weapon. She will need her sisterhood."

I love this quote

I know that I havent been on for a while but hey, I am in school and its kinda hard for me to keep up with this and do school work at the sametime while participating in other activities.

I havent really been up to much. I would like to say thank you for all who prayed for my grandmother. She is doing so much better now.

You know there is something worng with me and I dont know what it is. Its like, I have been dealing with something all my life and I have no clue as to what it could be. I dont know why I block my self from people. I dont know why I dont let people into my life like Iought to. I dont know why its so hard for me trust people. I dont know why it is so hard for me to use the gifts that I have and to showcase them. When I am in church its nothing, but to do it as a profession or just when people ask me to, I cant do it. I dont know why. Its a wall that is right in front of me and I wont put it down. I really dont know what that wall represents. I am tired of feeling this way. I am tired of always putting on this mask to say that I am okay. I am just really tired of doing that. I dont think its right but then again, I dont want to have everyone and their mommas in my buisness. I really dont know whats going on with me. I am thinking about whether I want to drop out of school just becuase everyday I look and I see that it really isnt for me like I thought it would be. I dont think that I am that great of a singer to go into the professional world. I dont think that I am that great of a pianist to go into the professional world. I just dont think that I am good enough for anything. And why do I feel this way, I have no idea. Its funny becuase when I was at church on Sunday, pastor talked about looking back and how when you look back and then you come back things dont seem as bad as they are. Well, everytime I look back, nothing really gets better. I am actually in the same spot I was years and years ago. I just dont know why I feel this way. I know that I blessed everyday that I wake up in the morning and I have the activities of my limbs and I am able to see another day. But I dont know why I just dont feel like I am good enough for anything or anyone.

Well, I have to go to class, we have midterms this week and I have to go to the review seesion. Well, I guess I will write later.

Until next time..................Be a Blessing and Be Blessed